Humans in Healthcare #41: I may fail

Hi friend, Amy here, your authentically honest full-stop human, community builder, and creator of Humans in Healthcare, sharing the stories and experiences of healthcare professionals, patients, and caregivers.

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I may fail, but I won’t be a failure to launch

A few Thursday’s ago, we had a Community Connect event within the Humans in Healthcare community to connect and build relationships on a deeper level. The theme of the event was asks + offers. I thought the asks might be practical, but was pleasantly surprised when one of our members, Dr. Christopher Deussing asked for more opportunities to talk openly about failure.

He went on to share his experience launching paid events after so generously pouring his time, energy, effort, and experience into them for free. Out of 300 registrants, 4 converted to paid tickets and 3 of those 4 were $1 donations [read his incredibly vulnerable post].

There was a slight silent pause and then head after head started to nod in solidarity which began a movement of members sharing their own vulnerabilities and insecurities around failure:

• launching an offering, unsure of who will show up. Will it be an empty room?

• the sting of shame when a launch doesn’t convert in the way you thought. Objectively looking at it as separate from oneself instead of internalizing it

• the fear of asking for beta testers to what you’ve created

• the length of time it has taken to think about transitioning to a new role and the inner critic that comes with it

• how we feel we must have a next step or plan, but sometimes all we want is a space to explore, not a plan

Hearing this was healing to me — I’m right there with building this newsletter and this community. I shared that the most unsubscribed newsletter chapter I’ve written to date was the chapter when I soft-launched the community. Every time I think about it, I’m taken back to the moments in my life when I felt embarrassed, humiliated, ashamed, and small. But every time I share it in a space of others who get it (like at the Community Connect), I feel less alone in my shame. Shame thrives in secrets and isolation but cannot survive in connection.

And for clinician creators, a space to launch and softly land no matter the outcome of that launch can be a game changer as we embark on our creative endeavors.

See, while this does not apply to everyone, generally speaking, it’s harder for clinicians to think about taking risks and failure. Failure in the clinic can have significant consequences so when we think about moving out of the clinic or creating, we may remain in analysis paralysis or it can hurt a lot when we don’t get the result we are hoping for.

But having a space to launch and land softly, no matter the outcome — can be a game changer.

Truthfully, I’ve never much resonated with the term entrepreneur. To me, it has felt like this out-of-reach character — a hustler dazzling in the shine of charisma and confidence.

Um, have you met me? I wouldn’t describe myself like that, haha. Yet, here I am building my creation. I think that’s why I prefer the term creator. There’s room to grow, there’s room for versions of what I create, but also versions of who I am and can be. It’s within reach. Within me.

While to be the confident, dazzling, charismatic entrepreneur is admirable, it’s not relatable for me. I think the the vast majority of us admire strength and confidence, but relate and connect to vulnerability which often means sharing things like weaknesses or failures. This is exactly what our Community Connect event revealed to me.

Of course, I want to show up here as confident and competent and compelling and courageous and all the things that I can be — but being only that version creates a disconnect, a dissonance within me.

So I must show up as the truest form of me. The rhythmically real, raw, honest, full-stop human. Not a version to be sold, just a story to be told. The highs and lulls, the laughs and lows. Maybe you follow along or maybe you don’t.

This is what being a creator is about, at least for me. It’s not the journey toward the best self, most confident self, most wealthy self — it’s the toward the truest self. Is there any better journey to be on?

I don’t think there is, yet this creator journey has been one heck of a lonely journey of paradox.

Believing in a vision but being uncertain of how to get there. Feeling competent while being aware of just how much you don’t know. Taking risks while trying to stay in the guardrails of responsibility and duty. Celebrating the highs while simultaneously feeling the depth of lows. Knowing how much you’ve grown and how much you have to grow. Making decisions while asking questions. Being brave and scared.

Something tells me you might relate.

If you are on a similar journey as a clinician entrepreneur creator and ready to take the next right step in your journey, I invite you to travel with us at Humans in Healthcare. These are the stories, conversations, and spaces that exist within the community. Because they are real. Because we are human. Because social media conditions us to think we should be winning all of the time. Because we hurt and hope at the same time and it’s hard to carry that alone.

We may fail, but we won’t be a failure to launch. And if you need a built-in launch party where you can cry (and laugh) if you want to, we’ve got you :)

In closing, I’ll leave you with a call to courage:

In humanity,

Amy

When you are ready, there are 3 extra ways I can help:

1. CLINICAL COMMUNITY: Join a curated membership space for clinicians in transitions, clinician creators, and peer support and empowerment

2. FIND TALENT & OPPORTUNITIES: Are you a hiring manager or recruiter hiring a clinician? Consider posting to an incredible and talented network of seasoned clinical tech operators and leaders, content experts and SMEs, pharma educators and researchers, product and project managers, frontline clinicians, and more.

3. SHARE YOUR STORY: Are you a healthcare professional, patient, or caregiver and want to share your story? Collaborate here.