Humans in Healthcare: Chapter #12

I’m Kate, a former high school teacher turned pharmacist, and so much more.

In 2010, I enrolled in pharmacy school, expecting to go into academia. I quickly fell in love with primary care and set my heart to do the job that I do now. Over the decade that followed, there were several defining moments for me. When I was in my PGY1 residency, I was told that by prioritizing family over doing another year of residency that I would never be happy with my life. A few years later, despite three board certifications, it was questioned whether I could do the job I do now (because of that second year of residency I didn’t do). Although I didn’t have the word for it, I felt like an impostor on a regular basis because I was made to think I didn’t belong. There were many times I faced a lack of psychological safety in my learning and work environments, not knowing to expect better, and along the way I began using alcohol to cope.

On a personal front, in my first 7 years as a pharmacist, I had three beautiful kids and one very secret miscarriage. I didn’t think it was safe to talk about my loss, especially not at work. I held in a lot of pain and didn’t process it for many years because I didn’t believe my feelings were valid enough.

Fast forward a decade: I do my job well, I love my life, and I am now an outspoken advocate for healthcare trainees and providers in the shoes I was once in.

I started creating by accident.

I had been reading a book about impostor syndrome and saw myself in so much of what I read. I gave a talk to my health system’s residents later that year because I knew how much like an impostor I felt as a resident.

The next spring, the topic came up in the setting of a workgroup I was in with the American Society of Health-Systems Pharmacists, and before I knew it I was writing a blog and hosting a roundtable to share what I had learned.

Soon after that I started presenting on various platforms, ranging from local to national, to keep spreading knowledge about the tools that can help us navigate our impostor thoughts. This led serendipitously to an audience member saying “Have you thought about teaching a course on this?” and The Confident Provider Academy was born.

In addition to the Academy, I also spent much of 2022-23 writing a book on impostor syndrome which I hope to publish in 2024 - one chapter of which will be coming out on August 30th of this year!

I also have created several “Soundtracks” (a term used by author Jon Acuff) to help me work through my limiting beliefs. These include:

“I have a gift worth sharing”

“I will not quit to avoid failure”

“I will foster unquenchable curiosity”

When I say these every day, I create the right headspace to create!

On my road to authorship, I have struggled with my own inner critic related to being an author. I share many of my tools in my upcoming book chapter, but one that I think is extremely helpful is asking “Would 10/10 people agree with me?” When I hear the Inner Critic tell me that “no good clinician would have made that mistake” I ask myself that question. When I hear my Inner Critic say “you can’t be an author” I ask myself that question. Without fail, the answer is always that no, 10/10 people would not agree with my assessment. That knowledge pushes me forward.

My greatest lesson is “start scrappy.” The first iteration will never be perfect, and it doesn’t need to be.

Before I started my online academy, I took a course by Katrina Azer that gave me all the tools I needed to start.

I also have learned that you can record videos embedded into powerpoint, and this was a game changer.

For clinicians wanting to write a nonfiction book, I must recommend AJ Harper’s Write a Must-Read. She also hosts amazing classes related to writing and publishing.

I have felt overwhelming acceptance by other clinician creators, and very misunderstood by clinicians that don’t see why I have a need to create. But as I already said, I know I have a gift worth sharing so I don’t need external validation!

Balancing creating and patient care is a tricky thing for me. I wake up at 4 or 5am many days because I have a need to write and then I practice patient care throughout the day. If I still have the urge to create, I stay up after my family is all asleep; I have 3 kiddos 6 and under and getting into the creative flow is nearly impossible during their waking hours!

We can all agree that change needs to happen. My vision to help shape the future of healthcare revolves around the issues of burnout, mental health associated stigma, and the well-being of trainees and preceptors.

My personal mission is two-fold:
1) educate on the shared responsibility of well-being, and
2) provide practical tools for individuals and institutions. My course and book center on the tools for individuals, and my presentations are tailored to the audience.

I try to listen attentively to what people are building and provide bridges to people that might be helpful collaborators or encouragers. I am the epitome of Enablement according to the 6 Types of Working Genius.